I'm just tired

Well here is one of those down days. I guess my birth mom told my youngest "brother" that he had a sister he never knew about and though she thinks he took it well his brother thinks he is struggling with it. Then my birth father, who was in Florida with his mother and supposed to be coming home for Thanksgiving found out the boys both knew now and decided to stay down there for another week or more. Now his phone is off and they can't even reach him.

Guess this is the price that has to be paid and in a way I am paying for it a little, but not really at the same time. Wendy, Phil and Steve are paying for it and Joe in his own way. Gah, I am mad at Joe for being such a flippen asshat! 33 years have gone by, my birthday is in 2 weeks - GET THE HELL OVER IT. You are at least 55 years old!!! Now he is putting everyone through hell for the plain fact that the cat is out of the bag. I realize he carried this for 33 years but HE is an adult here! He put this all on my shoulders as did Wendy making me carry it for just 10 years. What the heck did I ever do to deserve that?? Just be born. Lovely!

I have no patience, I have slept little to none in the past 48 hours. The past week has been rollercoaster of emotion and though I slept a bit more those nights I still am not sleeping like I used to. What did I expect? Seriously... I was prepared for the worst and then some great stuff happened with Steve and then BOOM - Where did that Mac Truck come from. I got too happy and I should have stayed wary, but, I let my defenses down. I won't do that again. Hope for the best prepare for the worst and remember not to get to comfy. This ride is certainly not over.