Well, it has been a while since I posted something. Between then and now I had my birthday and had a good, but brief discussion with my husband about our marriage.

He knows about this blog now, so not sure how he will feel about me posting this but here it goes. Yesterday, I basically told him as nicely as I could that I was not sure that this was working out. I asked him to take a good long look at what he wanted in life and what he wanted from me. If it came down to it that we were not suited for one another we needed to call it quits before we both wasted too much time and energy.

We both "want" kids. He can sow he wild oats and have kids for A LOT longer then I can carry a baby for 9 months. Time is a wasting and neither of us should waste anymore time. I will always love him if we both decide this isn't right and there is a hope in my mind that we could stay close, even though I know that is extrememly hard and barely ever happens.

And on the opposite side, maybe this will open his eyes and my own. It is out in the open now and maybe we will both start acting like this marriage means something more the co-habitating and sharing the bills. I don't want a roommate, I want a lover, a friend and someone I can share my thoughts with. I don't want to waste anymore time "trying" to fix things. We should know now that either we can or we can't. We have been trying to "fix" things for several years.

Oh well, we shall see what happens in the future. Never know, do ya?

~E